Bratislava (or, that time I slept on a bus for a weekend, pt. 3)

march 2015 // bratislava, slovakia // canon 5d 

I've been staring at the little blogger box now for about 10 minutes, trying to think of what to write about the enigmatic city of Bratislava, and failing. I have, however, been laughing to myself quietly for about the same amount of time--because our five hours in this little city was nothing if not hilarious. 
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After the grandeur of Vienna, the pulse of Budapest, and approximately 4514752943857 hours on a crowded bus, my friends and I were ready to head back to good old Mannheim, and, you know, sleep in our own bed. But before we could do that, we had one more stop on the crazy three-day-three-city-three-country tour--Slovakia. 

We rolled into the city around noon; it was cloudy and grey, and the exterior of the city was sad and tired. Immediately after getting on the bus, we were sheperded to the city square, herded into groups, and sent on yet another guided tour. 

Our guide was extremely invested in her country, and through her tinny microphone, informed us of the following facts that ensured that none of us would ever be moving to Bratislava--

  • Unemployment rate? 11 percent (at the time of our visit)
  • The three most important events that occured in Bratislavian history were the 1. invasion (or "visit") by Napolean, 2. a candlelit vigil to protest communism, and 3. George W. Bush's visit
  • On Easter, guys get to dump water and spank single ladies with willow branches....and said ladies have to pay them and give them gifts. 

  • alrighty then. 

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    By that point, we were amused, but also extremely tired, hungry, and vaguely annoyed. When the tour finished (with a small rant of Americans' stereotyping of Bratislava, thanks to Eurotrip and Taken), we booked it to a supermarket (where I got yelled at in Slovakian for not weighing my fruit) and then ate an extremely cheap meal at the, wait for it--Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe-themed pub//restaurant. And, well, that's it. We didn't get to see a lot of Bratislava, but what we did see was odd, bemusing, and...definitely memorable, to say the least.

    {and that concludes the crazy bus trip! a year after it occurred, jeez. thanks for reading!}

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